All of your energy has been focused on your new relationship. You realize you have been neglecting yourself. You used to take care of yourself more by eating healthy, working out, accomplishing work goals but instead of taking responsibility for this change, you blame your procrastination on your partner. Furthermore, instead of confronting the issue head on and talking towards a resolution, and building a strong bridge that connects the two of you, you start building walls. You start working against each other instead of with each other. Intimacy starts to slow down and real life starts to take center stage again. Although all those "real life" things were always there all of it just seemed better in the beginning of the relationship. Now your partner becomes last on your list of priorities and the repercussion of all these built up emotions opens up old wounds that you thought were healed. This intensity scares you and fear starts to creep into your thoughts. This is the time where you can choose love or fear. You can not live in both. This is where you see your partner, raw, open and broken and if the breakdown becomes a breakthrough then on to phase 4.
* "There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance."-John Lennon