Having a child is one of the most amazing gifts we can receive in life. It is a huge change in one's life to go from caring only for yourself to having your life revolve around another human being. It is possibly the biggest responsibility in our lives and absolutely the most rewarding. The anticipation and fears that come along with having a child can cause tension and stress in relationships, not to forget all the hormonal changes a woman goes through on top of it. Learning about unconditional love comes into play way before the big day. Learning to support each other through all these new changes and fears can be daunting. Here is a list of tips that can help you be the best parents you can be.
1. Let go of your ego. The only decisions of self- importance that you should make now are those that benefit your new family. I know this can be a scary thought, but looking past your own eye lashes is actually where fulfillment comes from. Make decisions that are best for your new family and in turn you will be open to receive more love than you could have ever imagined.
2. You as a couple come first. You are the glue that will give you the strength to care for your new baby. Then comes family and friends and so on. If you and your partner are not connected it will trickle down into all aspects of your life. Imagine a triangle, you being at the top. Take care of yourself, then each other, so that you can both be strong for your baby.
3. The first 6 weeks are the hardest. Try and enjoy and be present, because children are constantly changing. Whatever they are doing today will be different tomorrow, whether it's good or bad, it will pass.
4. Agree on big decisions before the baby comes, like what type of birth you want, vaccinations, circumcisions, and breast-feeding. Each baby is different so you have to be adaptable to sudden changes in decisions, but if you discuss these issues before hand then you can support each other when they come up and sleep deprivation starts to sway you from your beliefs.
5. Babies don't need much in the sense of objects or things. They really just need you! Especially if you are breast feeding. Don't get stressed out on all the baby gadgets and swings. Most important thing for a baby is to have loving parents. Babies don't need presents, they need your presence.
6. Don't be afraid to ask for help, you are going to need it. Delegate friends and family to help prepare meals or go on diaper runs so that you both can be 100 % with your new baby.
7. Help each other! Help each other and support each other more than you ever have before. A new Mom trying to breast feed for the first time without support can actually cause her milk to not let down and a new Dad trying to change a diaper with his wife criticizing how he's doing it is only going to end sour and prevent him from wanting to help in the future. Understand that the two of you will do things differently and that's ok. Teach each other and help each other, even if you think the other one has it under control. A lot of times one of the parents become dominant and tend to take on the bulk of things to do and end up resenting their significant other. It can partly be because one spends more time with the baby so they know the soothing techniques and how to's on everything but if that is the case then the other person can still be helpful in other ways. They can clean the bottles or do laundry. There is ALWAYS something to do to help each other out. Accept that you will each have your special way with your new baby. * Follow your instinct and be the parent you always wanted.